Box Office Haiku

pretentious asshole
i am not your ‘sweetheart,’ k?
stop changing your mind.

What special offer?
The Marketing Department
Never mentioned that.

Standing ovations
Should always be reserved for
The truly sublime.

“IF I HAD YOUR JOB
I’D HAVE TO BE TRANQUILIZED!”
To deal with your ilk?

“What gives you the right
To charge people admission?”
All this ain’t free, ma’am.

You storm out the door
calling my HM a bitch?
Rudeness fee incurred.

“Go in the mail room.”
Listen, nobody puts me
in a corner, bitch

How may I help you?
Somebody hung up on you?
No, that wasn’t me.

Why can’t my kids come?
Yes, they’re only two years old;
But they are angels!

Over and over,
You ask me the same question;
My answer won’t change.