Box Office Haiku

No bathrooms this floor
Take elevator down one
Poor planning, I guess

John’s vacuum is old
Older than John, I’d wager.
It does not clean jack.

Seat numbers? Simple.
A2 means “sit in A2.”
Not just where you want.

pre-show chat leads to
new theatre discoveries.
can I go home now?

Please do not come in.
The house is not open yet–
oh, fine, suit yourself.

man with feet on stage
hmm, are you in show business?
get your damn feet off.

I get to clean poop
from people who use the floor
God, I love this place

Yes, we’ve got valet
But for walkers, not for cars.
The tips are lousy.

We call two minutes
Yet people head for the john.
In there, time stands still.

You say your mother
Is trapped in the john? Again?
Consider diapers.