Box Office Haiku

Who does accept checks,
For payment, this day and age?
Don’t act so put out.

The advertisement

Didn’t suggest you’d get your

Fussy heart’s desire.

It’s not a hate crime

That there’s no discount for you.

Glibness becomes you.

It falls to me to

Offset the stupidity

Of the great unwashed.

If you don’t want me
To cash your check today, then
Wait to send it in.

Seinfeld is coming.
Everyone wants a ticket
But calls the wrong line.

Dear Sir or Madam,
Don’t call me on speaker, then
Pick up your phone, ass.

Saying the word “um”
Repeatedly isn’t the best
Way to keep me calm.

Well of course you may
Exchange at the last minute.
Friends cancelled? Oh well.

pretentious asshole
i am not your ‘sweetheart,’ k?
stop changing your mind.