Box Office Haiku

All new part-timers
Get the difficult patrons
An unspoken rule

It’s not a hate crime

That there’s no discount for you.

Glibness becomes you.

It falls to me to

Offset the stupidity

Of the great unwashed.

I’m sorry. Didn’t
Realise I was speaking with
The Queen of Sheba.

“I called yesterday,
you were no help then!” Want help?
Don’t hang up on me.

Still not psychic yet.
If you don’t say what you want,
then how will I know?

Hello, young lovers!
I want to give you your change.
Please stop sucking face.

The box officer
never wants to hear you make
“that’s what she said” jokes.

Tickets for Dunne, please?
No, that’s not me, that’s my ex–
but he won’t miss them!

Words I do not like:
“We bought our tickets online!”
No good comes of that.