Box Office Haiku

It falls to me to

Offset the stupidity

Of the great unwashed.

“I called yesterday,
you were no help then!” Want help?
Don’t hang up on me.

Still not psychic yet.
If you don’t say what you want,
then how will I know?

Overdressed. Dumb Stare.

You’re here for Opening Night?

Wrong venue, darling.

You lost your tickets
By walking ten feet away.
That is amazing.

Where did you buy them?
A man standing on the street.
Funny they don’t work.

Seinfeld is coming.
Everyone wants a ticket
But calls the wrong line.

I understand that
“No” is not an easy word.
Today, that’s what’s heard.

Saying the word “um”
Repeatedly isn’t the best
Way to keep me calm.

John’s vacuum is old
Older than John, I’d wager.
It does not clean jack.