Box Office Haiku

It’s not a hate crime

That there’s no discount for you.

Glibness becomes you.

“It’s your Zolo Book!
Z! O! L! O! Oh. Wait. That’s
Two Thousand and Ten.”

I’m sorry. Didn’t
Realise I was speaking with
The Queen of Sheba.

Your emo blackmail
Half an hour before curtain:
No grounds for exchange.

Old man on the phone,
You know you don’t like to call.
But your wife is pissed.

Standing by my window,
Saying mean things in German…
Thanks for your input.

Lady kvetches on.
Big-ass line forms behind her…
Yes, this must be hell.

pre-show chat leads to
new theatre discoveries.
can I go home now?

Mrs. Patron, please
be happy with 1 and 2.
you deserve those seats

peace be with you, friend
as you embark upon this
season of screaming.