Box Office Haiku

“I called yesterday,
you were no help then!” Want help?
Don’t hang up on me.

“Is there a halftime?”
It’s a play, it’s not football.
There’s no halftime here.

Still not psychic yet.
If you don’t say what you want,
then how will I know?

Hello, young lovers!
I want to give you your change.
Please stop sucking face.

The box officer
never wants to hear you make
“that’s what she said” jokes.

Tickets for Dunne, please?
No, that’s not me, that’s my ex–
but he won’t miss them!

We don’t engage in
retroactive discounting.
I can’t change that price.

I have seats tonight–
Wait! My ticket says the 3rd!
Ha ha, that’s strange, huh?

“Order number, please?”
“Oh, we didn’t print that out…
You never need that!”

“What’s these cheap tickets?
Preview tickets? I want those!”
That was last month, ma’am.