Box Office Haiku

‘Improv’ is not an
anagram for ‘vampire’.
‘I’m a perv’ is though.

There are theatres
That carefully train their staff.
We’re not one of them.

You’re the one who called
Yet you do not have your card.
Please, ma’am, take your time.

“Will seats open up?”
If I could see the future,
I would not work here.

I know who drank all
Of the fancy new whiskey.
It wasn’t patrons.

Another closing,
Another show didn’t sell:
Finger-pointing time.

“My ticket says 8:00,
So what time will my show start?”
Hm, take a wild guess.

Yes, we’ve got valet
But for walkers, not for cars.
The tips are lousy.

We call two minutes
Yet people head for the john.
In there, time stands still.

My new phobia:
Tiny women in large groups
Who each buy their own.